FWM: How did your family shape who you are today?
My parents were well-respected and upright community leaders and distinguished civil servants. They served their fatherland honorably and meritoriously. My father was a chartered accountant, and a career diplomat, and my mother was a chartered secretary, and public administrator. They were a beautiful couple and made a formidable team supporting each other throughout the years. I traveled the world with them and was exposed at an early age to etiquette, conversations, and different cultures. I could confidently hold a conversation on any subject at a relatively young age, thanks to them. They always maintained that it was not fair to leave all the work to the teachers alone. Yes, they (teachers) did have their part to play, surely, but they were of sound belief that parents were responsible for putting the icing on the cake and this they did, of which I am extremely grateful.
Growing up, I watched as my mother, a strong voice in women’s issues played hostess to countless meetings in our home with like-minded Nigerian women, wives of foreign diplomats, and other expats who shared ideas and ideals on serving the community, and spearheading projects in women’s health, literary, and financial empowerment. She was a member of the National Council of Women’s Societies, Lioness Club, The Soroptimist International, and The Rotary. Looking back now, I wonder where she got the energy especially with an 8-5 job in the mix. I guess it is a combination of these experiences which have left indelible marks and impacted me in more ways than I choose to believe. I believe that healthy women make stronger women and stronger women make healthy nations.
Without any bias, my Mum is my role model. She was an amazing woman. I am still trying to fit into just one of her shoes, and believe me, it is not easy. She dedicated her service to the emancipation of women in Nigeria through those international organizations mentioned where she played pivotal roles. I reminisce with fondness us visiting the homes of the wives of past Nigerian presidents and Supreme Court judges for meetings and lunches. She was admired for her savviness, kindness, and humility. As a blue-blooded princess on her maternal side, she was conspicuous in all palace activities. My parents dedicated their service to God through their support to the building of the massive Presbyterian Church in Lagos in the 70’s which still stands towering until today. Suffice it to say, those who know my parents say I am a combination of Dad’s work ethics and diplomatic skills and Mum’s demure social activism. I have no doubt. Something must rub off.
FWM: Tell us about your important work with the United Nations.
Asides from being awarded the prestigious Ambassador of Peace by the Universal Peace Federation at the United Nations for my various contributions to peace and governance, and persons living with disabilities in the land of my birth, Nigeria, I became a mental health advocate in 2013 because of my experiences with persons living with disabilities (PWDs). During this time, I was fully immersed in high-impact advocacy with Member States at the United Nations where my team and I worked tirelessly with the former Sec-Gen United Nations Ban Ki Moon and the now Deputy Sec-General, Dr. Amina Mohammed, to ensure that Mental Health and Wellbeing was inserted as a key target of Sustainable Development Goal 3 (SDG), this was when the United Nations was transitioning from the Millennium Development Goals (MDGs) to the Sustainable Development Goals (SDGs). Our hard work paid off. We lobbied about 180 plus Member States at the United Nations to support our organization and the mental health agenda, and we did it. Mental Health and Wellbeing was adopted by majority of the Member States and included in Sustainable Development Goal 3. In addition, as Member-at-Large of an NGO at the United Nations, I contribute to promoting the Universal Declaration of Human Rights statement on the Family as “the natural and fundamental group unit of society entitled to protection by society and the State” and usually take on the key responsibility of organizing programs and collaborating with other like-minded organizations and individuals in promoting the agenda of the family. The family is the nucleus of society.
FWM: Why are Mental Health and Well Being important areas of your life?
At a point in my life, I was a caregiver to a very dear relative and my constant and consistent words of encouragement and positivity helped to motivate and heal them during their medical challenge. For me, always making firm and positive affirmations goes a long way in the healing and recovery process, in fact, in everything. Little did I know that I too, would need this many years later to help me deal with my own demon -breast cancer. The body follows the mind wherever it goes, and I reiterate that there is no health without mental health.
FWM: Tell us about when you learned you had Stage 3 Triple-Negative Breast Cancer in 2016.
My emotions were a potpourri of sorts. Fear. Anger. Shock. Confusion. Surprise. Despair. According to the textbooks, wasn’t I supposed to experience certain symptoms of breast cancer to warrant such a diagnosis? I had no itch. I had no pain. I had no pinch. I had no secretion. I had nothing. A nasty fall in my bathroom, and a subsequent trip to the doctor’s led to my breast cancer diagnosis. As someone who has never had any major health issue before and not aware of having a family history of this sort, I was absolutely devastated.
FWM: How important is the power of the patient’s voice?
The power of the patient’s voice cannot be underscored enough. Nothing is ever normal after a chronic diagnosis such as cancer. From the minute the patient is diagnosed; they are treated differently. They are treated as ‘ill’ in comparison to someone who is focusing hard on healing and getting back to default settings as best as they can. The patient’s journey to get back to health should be paramount and infused with positivity, and above all, with the necessary information communicated to them in layman’s terms. Extensive research has shown that no matter how knowledgeable a clinician might be, if he or she is not able to open good communication with the patient, he or she may be of no help. There are many valuable ways the healthcare system can add to the patient’s healing and survivorship, and it is by accepting them as peers. Being understanding of the patient’s preference and viewpoint is paramount. The patient voice is an integral part of the conversations, and by having a say in their own healthcare trajectory and in how health institutions form their decisions is a win-win and good for their mental wellbeing. Patients who are actively involved in their treatments have better outcomes.
FWM: Your traumatizing breast cancer experience is your WHY. Explain.
Because I was literally caught napping. I didn’t see cancer coming from the left field. What I discovered in the process strengthened my resolve to advocate, to proffer helpful information and solutions to save lives, and to erase the stigma associated with cancer. In Nigeria, cancer is considered a death sentence. Many women and men are unwilling to discuss their fears of finding a lump or tumor and they die due to the stigma attached. Even when medical intervention is available, it is unaffordable. No medical insurance exists for those in the little or no income strata. Those diagnosed are usually in their prime and their chances of survival would have risen if surgery were performed but where is the money? Where is the insurance to support them and to cover such huge bills? I discovered that very few who had cancer were willing to speak about it for the same reasons I have mentioned above. Stigma. The fear of the unknown. Financial limitations. Becoming outcasts. These factors literally brought me to tears and I thought about how I could be a voice. A ray of hope. This was the deciding factor. This was my WHY.
As sick as I was, I refused to allow cancer to drag me into the abyss and leave me there. I clawed my way out of the abyss and got a new lease of life. I wanted the world to see the positivity and hope I was sharing which had propelled me to create awareness on the cancer disease. Do you know I couldn’t even remember the last time I had a mammogram prior to my diagnosis? It was the fall that saved my life, else, I was a ticking time-bomb. Just because one can run, swim 5 miles, or spend hours on end at the gym doesn’t necessarily translate to good health. There may be an underlying condition and when it is least expected, they will show face as cancer or any other chronic ailment. I am deeply passionate and committed to cancer advocacy. Only he who wears the shoe, feels the pinch. I know how I suffered, and I must continue to pay it forward by ensuring health literacy and communication about all types of cancers and imploring people to go for medical checks because, until there is a cure, prevention is the cure.
FWM: Tell us about your book, “un-put-downable” memoir “IMPOSSICANT!”
IMPOSSICANT! is a fantastic, up-beat, educative, and easy to read memoir if I may say so myself. It is never easy coming to terms with a breast cancer diagnosis. A life-changing trauma such as this will shake any one’s world to the foundation. However, with faith, determination, mental resilience, an awesome medical team, and rock-solid support system in the person of my amazing daughter, I was able to climb out of the abyss one step at a time. The whole essence of this quirky memoir is to put the reader where I was on each step of my journey because reading the book is like having a conversation with me and with a great deal of humor too. There is a glossary at the back as I have conversations in my native Nigerian dialects while soliloquizing most times. It has been given 5 stars by my wonderful readers. It is available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and Smashwords.
FWM: What do you want people to gain from your book?
I would like people to know that there is light at the end of the tunnel if there is valid information and early detection. Being a part of a community is extremely important as well while battling cancer or any other chronic illness. Esprit de corps, if you will. Besides a solid medical team and friend/family support system, I attest to the fact that faith, positivity, and laughter lead to better outcomes. To anyone reading this, in facing the journey into the light, do ensure you receive unlimited doses of all three. I was fortunate I did.
FWM: As a global patient leader, share your initiatives and panels.
I host an engaging YouTube talk show: Cancer Convos with Grace B. where I invite experts and stakeholders in the cancer and overarching healthcare space to share their evidence-backed insights. Creating content, producing, and launching my show has been a wonderful, purifying, and cleansing experience and I have been blessed to meet and form bonds with amazing like-minds too, like cancer patients, survivors, and caregivers to share the patient experience and perspective. The tagline for my show is “Demystifying Cancer” as I break the subject of cancer down into bite-sized pieces of information and share hope and positivity in the process. Cancer should not be a death sentence as it was many years ago. As a global patient leader, I serve on boards and panels of national and international organizations that value the patient voice. My affiliations include but are not limited to the following:
- American Cancer Society Cancer Action Network
- Merck
- WEGO Health (now Health Union)
- Blue Note Therapeutics
- Fight Cancer Global
- Rare Patient Voice
- Lead Delegate, eYs SDGs World Council for SDG 3 (Good Health and Wellbeing)
FWM: How have you evolved as a result of your advocacy?
The transition back into normal life has been strange and believe me, I am still trying to figure it out every day but by the special grace of God, when I shall hit the 5-year mark then will I deeply exhale. What I learned during my cancer journey is that we are programmed to either accept or resist misfortune and this is evident in our daily defeats, disappointments, and conflicts. Certain wounds will never completely heal, but in my case, I have seen that any negative experience can represent an opportunity for superior fulfillment. Life IS short, so whatever “demon” you may be facing, use the experience to your advantage. The ‘demon’ takes something from us, so go ahead and take something back too. You never know what the Universe is trying to tell you, or where it is directing you. Seize the moment because if you do not, you are living your one and only life too safe.
Pain can be transformed into healing and growth with the right support, and that we have the power to reshape and re-define any experience no matter how devastating it seems. Look at your experience and ask, “how can I use this for my own growth and for the good of mankind?”
Evolving has been long and hard, but I never dwell much on the negative aspects of my experience. Instead, I share lessons I have learned, how I chose to rise above my challenges, how I rebranded by incorporating my cancer experience, and how I created content and platforms that impact globally. I say “chose” because you can either decide to feel sorry for yourself or treat your experience as a gift. For me,
- my spiritual relationship with God is more strengthened than ever.
- I am very intentional about whatever I give my energy to.
- I have found a toughness and courage that now allows me to take on any challenge. (Except, anything to do with rats and cockroaches!)
- I have clarity of purpose and the drive to build a more powerful future.
- I have a better relationship with my family and my friends, and a lot of peace and calmness.
- The future is bright but right now, I continue to focus on saving more lives by using all the platforms at my disposal. One day at a time.
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B089VM74R7
https://www.linkedin.com/in/grace-charrier-021b03143/
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCoicS9_zeq5owu7nluE1HjQ
https://www.facebook.com/cancerconvoswithgraceb/
