In 2013, you had a life-changing event. Share your experience.
After my husband died of Leukemia in 2013, I found myself the head of a large family, raising my kids alone, and trying to figure out how to manage not just my loss, but my children’s futures, my home, and my writing career without the support I had counted on to help me navigate uncharted waters.
I soon learned that to move forward I had to trust a “walk-on-water” experience, doing what I never before believed I could and developing skills I never expected to use. Raising kids is always a challenge because we bring our histories, injuries, weaknesses, and doubts into the mix. Good thing we don’t go it alone. Our kids—if we allow them—become part of our formation process. As we guide them, so they guide us. The same can be said for my writing career. Initially, I wanted to find a publisher who could get my work “out there.” After my graduate work and writing a series of screenplays, I hoped to find a qualified agent to assist me in traveling the by-ways of the entertainment world. Instead, I discovered that I could learn the skills needed to publish my work and own the process. Rather than placing the publishing process on someone else’s shoulders, I realized that I could shape my writing in newfound freedom. I chose my book designers, editors, proofreaders, social media outlets, and learned to trust certain people for good advice and avoid those who gave way to demoralizing rants.
As terrible as it was to lose my husband and my best friend, I have learned that tragedy, like any life experience, can make or break us. Free will exists. What we do with it is our choice.
What has been your greatest gift to the world?
If I dare say I have any “great gift,” it would be the grace to love unconditionally. I have been blessed to know people from all over the world and experience deep relationships with a variety of folks. Despite differences of opinion ranging from faith to finances, I’m lucky enough to peer beyond the skin of personalities and enjoy the gift of persons. That kind of love does not hold grudges, debate fault, or attempt reality makeovers. God’s love is first, and through that mystical encounter, I love and live best.
Who do you look for inspiration?
The short answer—God.
Humanity joined in a supernatural universe, created by a loving God, lifts me beyond momentary distractions and fears and inspires me to work for the long haul. A million years. A hundred thousand miles. No matter when or where I am, each moment offers an opportunity to fulfill my unique existence, which can either build or destroy our world. Free will has been given to me, forever. No matter what happens. I decide how I will handle each day, event, transition, terror, or joy. In daily, mindful encounters with God, I am made stronger, braver, and better.
Tell us about your first book, The Road Goes Ever On, A Christian Journey Through The Lord of the Rings.
I wrote The Road Goes Ever On in response to my husband’s request. He liked the idea of applying the principles of the Catholic faith I was teaching my kids and Tolkien surely knew as a Catholic to The Lord of the Rings characters. Each chapter takes an aspect of faith and delves into the hearts of the characters who rise to virtue or fall into vice. Then those same virtues and vices are considered in light of our modern world. How do we become the hero of our own life story? What tempts us and tries our souls? Is Middle-earth so very far away—or have we yet to discover the Hobbit (or Saruman) inside each of us? As Tolkien said so succinctly, “We have come from God.” The question I ponder throughout the book asks, “So where are we going now?”
What is it about the writing process that has given you comfort?
Writing allows me to step away from my up-close-and-personal reality and take a larger look. What am I doing? What does humanity really want? Is happiness possible? What does love mean? I do not have the answers. But in considering the questions, I pull away from the panic of bedeviling details that seem much more important than they really are. When my heart is broken, my nerves frayed, my mind splintered, I can stop, take a deep breath and write a flow of words that clarify something so deep within me that I might never face myself honestly otherwise. First I write junk notes—the scribbles that pour my emotions on the page. Then I start again and write about a character. Someone I’ve never met before, but soon realize I know him or her on an intimate level. That “someone” leads me on a journey of discovery, adventure, humor, grief, and a thousand other realities. Ironically, I become more true to myself when I live—for a time—through fictional characters.
You have published 10 books. Do you have a favorite story?
Though Last of Her Kind was one of my most personal books, dealing with love and loss, my sense of humor really came out in the alien characters I developed for Newearth—Justine Awakens. The plot line deals with serious themes: What makes us human, and how do we define human rights? But what saved the work from becoming a loudspeaker for cultural angst was the characters’ search, though both honest strength and humorous foibles, for truth and purpose.
Are there recurring themes in your stories?
My main theme would involve our human search for meaning in a world where the tension between an individual’s rights and the well being of our larger society plays out in various scenarios throughout my books. I have discovered that opposing forces often assist humanity to become more fully formed. Turning apparent weakness and tragedy into strength and hope by how we choose to deal with daily and life-changing challenges makes all the difference. Of course, major themes can be boiled down to the struggle between good and evil, as straightforward as that is at times. My novels involve characters that must consider wider options than simply “wiping out the bad guy or becoming the good guy.” Life is growth. We either grow together or face serious peril.
Tell us about your “HeartBeats Series.” Why did you launch it?
I started HeartBeats to deal with a sense of isolation and depression in our current society. Though I have close family and friends, I empathize with the loneliness and desperation of elderly folks dismissed to “retirement homes,” children left to distract themselves with tech-toys that can never replace the human touch, women searching for good men, and men longing for an honest relationship, hard-working townsfolk burdened by isolation, and city people lost in a crowd.
After my husband died, so many people I didn’t formerly know came to me with kind offerings, leaving me humbled and amazed. Inevitably, we’d end up discussing friends and family, and they would share their sorrows and burdens. Though I was no more capable of solving their problems than they were of solving mine, the act of listening, looking a fellow human being in the eye, caring about what they shared, feeling their pain (at least, to some degree), made such a difference. Strangely enough, we are strengthened through empathy.
HeartBeats is simply another way of sharing our connected humanity and allowing our honest struggles to make us stronger and wiser people.
What are your current projects?
Every Friday, I publish a new original short story alternating with a new HeartBeats post on my website and on Medium.com. At the end of 2020, I plan on collecting and publishing these works as Part II to the first versions of HeartBeats—Spiritual Being, Human Journey and It Might Have Been and other Short Stories which I published at the end of 2019.
I am also completing the final rewrite of my OldEarth trilogy OldEarth Neb Encounter, and working on a sequel for my Newearth series in a new novel called Newearth—A Hero’s Crime, which continues the storyline started in Newearth—Justine Awakens.
Do you have any additional thoughts?
This life journey places us into a constant contest with forces way beyond our personal control. Realizing that is not a weakness. It is one of the main ingredients of sanity. I have had to reevaluate my priorities, values, and even the color scheme of my house more times than I can count. I regret my mistakes and weaknesses, but I have never regretted loving and serving humanity in individuals or as a whole race of beings. Critics are everywhere. Pain and brokenness exist. I was never told to save the world. Only to love it. That I can do.
Website https://akfrailey.com/
Blog https://akfrailey.com/blog/
“Despite differences of opinion ranging from faith to finances, I’m lucky enough to peer beyond the skin of personalities and enjoy the gift of persons. That kind of love does not hold grudges, debate fault, or attempt reality makeovers. God’s love is first, and through that mystical encounter, I love and live best.”
From such encounters I have learned the limitations of my own prejudices and ignorance. I have grown to see universal characteristics of belief through many different religious prisms. I have learned that God is already at work in people for whom I can make a small contribution to their journey while they bless and instruct me on my way.
Thank you again for the sturdiness of your faith, the clarity of your insights, and the tensile strength of your art.