Merlyna Mathieu Valentine is the epitome of a SURVIVOR! Author, educator, wife to the love of her life and 2020 Canadian Inspirational Speaker of the Year, Merlyna brings us a story of tragedy, triumph, perseverance and unconditional love. She is proof that we can overcome the harshest of circumstances with grit, tenacity, intention and a soul-stirring spirit. She is indeed FORMIDABLE!
FWM: Please share your story with our readers.
MMV: I met my husband, Tory Valentine, on Valentine’s Day in 2006. I knew he was special because his last name is Valentine! We dated for a little over a year before our world was completely turned upside down. In August 2007, I was an elementary school principal at open house when I felt a sharp pain in my side. I was diagnosed with a kidney stone that lodged in my kidney. I visited 3 hospitals in that week before I arrived at the 4th hospital by ambulance. I was on the brink of death and experiencing major organ failure. I was given a less than 10% chance of surviving that night.
I beat the impossible odds and spent weeks in the ICU on a ventilator, nearly 3 months in the hospital, and endured a long and arduous two-year recovery. Although I won the 1st battle of surviving sepsis, the war was still raging in my life. Blood flow to my extremities was compromised from my ordeal and for nine months I watched my limbs die off and turn black. Eventually, as a result of my medical tragedy, I became a quadruple amputee. I lost both hands and both legs below the knee.
My passion for living life and being an educator fueled my commitment to persevere. I never once asked why me, I truly believed it was my better to ask why not me. I decided to trust God and allow Him to lead me down this very different path. My resilience surfaced when I learned to embrace that change chose me. I fought and clawed my way back. As soon as I could be fitted for my prosthetic legs and hands, I went to rehab two and even three times a day. My goal was to reclaim my quality of life and return to my demanding job as a principal of a school with over 650 students. Many people said this was likely too lofty of a goal. Those people did not really know me and how determined I was to prove those who believed in me right!
Two years to the date of my first signs of illness, I didn’t just walk back into my school…I danced my way back! I went on to win Principal of The Year and numerous state and national awards. My story of survival, courage and hope was captured on numerous news shows and during a segment on the Today Show. I had an article in Ebony magazine. I was even promoted to Executive Director of elementary schools.
Tory, never left my side. He drove an hour each way to and from work per day to help care for me. He eventually ended up quitting his job, leaving his family and friends, and became my primary caregiver. Tory knew I wanted more than anything to go back to my career as an elementary school principal. He learned to flat iron and blow dry my hair and apply my makeup. When I returned to work, he made 3 round trips per day (1 hour) to bring me to work.
Since my retirement in 2016, we now travel the country so I can share my story. As an author, international speaker, and entrepreneur, I am so fortunate to be on this journey. I recently competed in an international speaking competition hosted in Canada. I was named the 2020 Inspirational Speaker of the Year! I am the first winner from the United States of America. My messages empower others to embrace change, persevere tough times, and live life without limits. My circumstances did not define me, I define me.
FWM: What keeps you motivated?
MMV: My ability and opportunities to positively impact and influence the lives of others keep me motivated. I realized from the early stages of my recovery that there was purpose that evolved from my tremendous pain. As I share my messages with audiences, I witness them lean in and become transformed by my story. Being instrumental in empowering others to embrace change, persevere tough times, and live life without limits is a blessing and my biggest motivation.
FWM: Give us three tips for a healthy and happy marriage.
MMV: Our marriage is grounded by our faith. We both believe God is the foundation in our marriage. We pray together, worship together, and constantly strive to live our lives according to His plans. God had His hands all over our relationship from the moment we met on Valentine’s Day! We know that when we trust God, our marriage will forever thrive. We forgive as God forgives. Forgiving is a must because we know neither of us is perfect. We simply adore our perfectly imperfect life and are grateful for each other.
We believe communication is a huge part of our happiness as a couple. We vowed to always show up as our true and authentic selves. It is our priority to communicate our true feelings. No matter how scary, vulnerable, or deeply we feel, we hold nothing back. It is important for us to be there for each other, no matter what. We never take for granted that the other spouse should know what we are thinking or feeling. Our closeness is a direct result of us always being open and honest about what is going on in our world. We made listening to each other as an ally an expectation.
Our relationship was tested in the first year and I believe that showed us the meaning of unconditional love. Prior to our vows, we endured sickness and health, good times and bad, and still freely chose to love. There are no conditions or boundaries for our love. We refuse to practice “if only” love. We do not limit our love with if only you would do this, say this, or give me this – we love at all times and in all ways. We chose to love and we choose it every single day. People say marriage is hard work. My husband and I believe if you find someone you really love, it will feel like you never work a day in your life. We truly embrace that with a last name of Valentine, we can only show up in this world as a shining example of true love.
Bonus: Live life on purpose – make every moment count. When you’ve survived a tragedy and nearly lost it all, you learn to live in the moment. We do plan for our future, but we spend every day appreciating the gifts of being present and enjoying our time together.
FWM: What can we expect from Merlyna Mathieu Valentine in 2021?
MMV: In 2021, I will continue to share my powerful messages with audiences across the globe. My messages of hope, resiliency, and thriving in difficult moments are needed so much now. I will be returning to keynoting live events across the country. I have already started booking events to speak to educators, students, medical professionals, human resources departments, corporate clients, and women’s empowerment groups. I am currently working on my 3rd book to empower readers to shift their mindsets and prove what’s possible in their daily lives. My ultimate goal is to have our love story and my story of overcoming tremendous adversity become the script for a movie.
FWM: How can our readers connect with you outside of this interview?
MMV: They can follow me on:
Twitter @Merlynainspires.
My Instagram is @Merlyna_valentine.
My Facebook page is Merlyna Valentine Consulting.
I am also on LinkedIn as Merlyna Valentine.
Photos courtesy of Paul Williams, Kailee Adams and Styckman504 Productions.
